I was racking my brains trying to get the perfect Christmas presents for my family all week. Sure, our gift guide is full of great ideas and my dad will be given a chess game to play now and retire like a surfboard later. But since for the first time in my life I won’t be home to party, I wanted to do something very special.
As this was happening, a subplot: On Glossier’s Creative Team Slack channel, Senior Designer Kendall Latham shared the block of Christmas decorations evaluation forms he buys online every year. The aim is to both support the spirit of the holiday exhibition and provide home improvement enthusiasts with important pointers that will improve the experience for next year’s visitors. Selfless? Yes, without a question. Wild? Well … Anyway, the forms are pretty self explanatory. Once you find a holiday ad to review, leave the original rating to the indicator and keep a copy to yourself.
I had to think of an old saying. You know the one – it’s like giving a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day, but teach a man how to fish and he’ll stop blowing whole paychecks on rolls of sushi. And then it hit me: the perfect gift is one that I keep giving. I give my family members the opportunity to improve. I took inspiration from Kendall’s shapes and asked each person to send me a photo of their top shelf to keep my critical eye on. Then I rated them on the following points: technical difficulties (too easy? Too complicated?), Enthusiasm (do you care what you use?), Respect for the barrier (do you have an acid mantle afterwards?) And presentation (self-explanatory) . Objective feedback is really an invaluable asset. You’re welcome! Here we go:
Jon, youngest brother
Technical difficulty: Well
Enthusiasm: Lots of it
Respect for the barrier: Good, outstanding eventuality (see below)
Presentation: Needs work
Additional Comments: They love discovering new beauty products, and it shows – lots of different sun protection options! Two layered Dedcool fragrances! Hyped acids! You have hit the sweet spot for technical difficulty: too complicated and you’ll never be consistent, too easy and the teenage zits keep raging. I’m not sure how often you use The Ordinary Mask, P50, and Sunday Riley UFO oil, but they all contain acids that make your skin sensitive. Finally, your presentation needs some work. Why do you have so many toothbrushes out of love for God? Does each tooth get its own ????
Sam, middle brother
Technical difficulty: Impossible to know
Enthusiasm: Very promising
Respect for the barrier: Who should say that
Additional Comments: Sam, what the hell is going on here? Most of your routine is unfathomable. Glad you seem to be moisturizing and making hair removal skin-friendly (fur shaving cream, electric razor instead of the multi-bladed razors that are prone to ingrowth). But three different Cologne residents aren’t going to do much for breakouts. Please remember the building blocks of good skin care: cleanse, moisturize, protect. And organize your bathroom! Lord God.
Technical difficulty: Minimalistic
Respect for the barrier: okay
Presentation: My mother took this picture
Additional Comments: Dad you are so cute The thing is, that tiny bottle of serum (“syrup” as you would call it) that you love to lather up on your bald head doesn’t actually cut it. Since you don’t have hair to protect your scalp from the sun, you’ll need sunscreen. Stat. I’ll send you something or – even better! Just steal one from mommy’s. It helps with the freckle age spots that you always complain about and keeps you healthy. Yes, you wear a baseball cap on days too. At least your legs are smooth.
Technical difficulty: Korean
Respect for the barrier: Outstanding
Additional Comments: When you go to the effort of conceiving, bearing, and raising a beauty editor, you get a routine that looks very similar. Mom, I know you have no idea what order to use all of these products in. (For the record, I like cleansing, toning, seruming, moisturizing and sealing with oil. Swap the oil for SPF during the day and voilà.) Additional bonus points are awarded for balancing acids with pillow-like moisturizers and the Swap natural tan for a bottled one. I am proud of you! Does Buying Anything Aida Bicaj Prescribe Make You A Skin Care Junkie? The jury is still not there.
Happy Holidays folks!
Photo via ITG