Brew A Luxurious Tub In A Pinch


This is a story about how I recently had an opportunity to swim. I love to bathe. I don’t do this very often because the bathroom in my apartment is just the bottom half of the shower and something about the duality of soaking where I usually wash my feet and rinse off my razor is completely unattractive. But my friend’s place (the cheapest and safest place to stay) has its own tub, and one night when I crashed there, it had digital plans and so I had a few free hours to soak in privacy. I didn’t have any of my fancy bath products on hand, but thought it would be easy enough to upgrade the experience with $ 20 and a quick target run. I grabbed all of the pants and shirts I’d brought with me, put them on to weather the wintry cold, and went looking for a cheap plaster. You have to strike while the bath water is hot, so to speak.

I dont know. Maybe I was too rushed. (Note to yourself: if your nervous friend suggests popping by a preventative description, decline the request.) Even though I combed three lukewarm loops down the beauty aisles, I ended up being up with … not very good. Thick, expensive body oils aren’t a problem, but my tried and true Neutrogena Light Sesame turned into an odd bubbly foam when I squirted it under the running faucet. The coconut oil-infused Epsom salt I bought in hopes of adding a moisturizing element to an otherwise drying soak smelled strong and artificial. And I don’t even want to go into the bath bombs. I am an adult woman with parched legs and a stress management problem! I need more of a bath additive than baking soda, citric acid, and glitter.

There is a happy ending here, because in the end I was allowed to swim, and bathing is still better than not bathing. It’s a fail-safe pacifier when I’m in a panic. The thing is, I can’t always predict when these feelings will show up, and when I have to take an impromptu bath, all I want is a plan. Maybe you can relate?

If so, let me ask you this: what is the most luxurious bathroom you can brew in a pinch and on a budget? Is it all about buying a big bag of plain Epsom salts and adding a pinch of solid coconut oil? A splash of olive oil from the kitchen, a few dashes of non-perfumed drugstore bubble bath, and just one point of essential oil? Whole Foods sells large jars of jojoba and castor oils for less than $ 10. Is that the right step? Or maybe the best option is to flash a few quaker oats in a blender, wrap them in muslin, and let the bath turn milky.

Just in case something happens that triggers you in the near future, a good option shouldn’t have to cost you a very wet arm and leg in the same day. Let’s get smart.

“But Oshinsky.”

Photo via ITG




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