Start with the directional element “head”. Say things like:
“Here’s what to focus on.”
“Show up on time, give a firm handshake, and make eye contact.”
Then turn to the sensitive element “heart”. Say something reassuring like:
“I’m confident you can do it.”
“Life gave you some curveballs recently. It was tough, I know. “
Then switch to the meaningful element “Spirit”. Connect their actions to the bigger picture and how they can inspire others:
“Your ambition will encourage others on our team to realize their dreams too.”
“Your family will be so proud of you!”
Below are more ways you can help others get their own version of winning a gold medal, whether it’s banishing a friend’s nervousness on a first date, supporting a loved one making a positive health change, or yours Encourage spouse before going for an interview.
Customize your message.
There is no single message for effective pep talk. As a coach, leader or friend, it is up to you to recognize which words the other person needs to hear.
“Everyone operates differently and everyone has different triggers that make them perform at their best,” said Ms. Boorman, who is now the assistant coach of the Dutch women’s gymnastics team. Some athletes, she said, need a more emotional approach than others; other athletes respond better to technical corrections. Adjust your approach as needed.
Trust is essential.
“A coaching relationship doesn’t work if there’s no trust,” said Jason Pryor, an epee fencer who competed in the 2016 Olympics in Rio de Janeiro and now works as a performance coach at Future, a personal training app. The most useful encouragements he received “came from people who knew me, knew my story, knew my concerns, and knew I was having trouble,” he said.
If done right, the results can be transformative: “I’ve seen conversations turn people into superhumans when the coach knows them and their struggles,” he said.